Adoptee Details

Birthparent's Story

I was a foster child by age 11, and pregnant by 15. I gave birth at 16, on Sept. 3rd, 1992; while living in a unwed pregnant teens group home run by what was (I found out later) also a company that does adoptions, and had been moved here by my social worker when I was heavily pregnant. My worker told me from discovery of pregnancy onward that I was never going to be allowed to keep him. They had him in separate foster care in Sioux City, Iowa by late October, 1992, with the removal hearing held about 30 days later in late November, 1992. I wasn't allowed any contact during this time. Most people work more hours in one workday than I saw my child in an entire week after that. It wasn't fair, but no one was looking out for me. My guardian ad litem who was also my court appointed attorney was friends with my social worker. I was doomed to lose him from the start. I was never charged with a crime. I lost him for taking him to see his great grandfather without permission, who lived in Sioux City, Iowa; and when I learned they were holding that against me, I stayed gone a few days, as I knew they would be my last few days as his full time mother. I turned myself and the baby in 3 days after going to grandfathers. We were at my grandfathers house safe, cared for and sound the whole 3 days. I have never ever harmed my child in any way. By 8 months old, he didn't really know I was his mother. I was just the nice lady who got to play with him sometimes for a little while. I know this because one day short of 8 months old, in May 1993, he was admitted to St. Luke's Hospital in Sioux City, Iowa with RSV. I went there every day after school as before that my access was so minimal, (and would be minimal again once he was released from the hospital), and that is when I finally met one of my son's foster parents. They'd always been kept anonymous to me, and I'm fairly sure she (the foster mother) lied about her name to me. I said come to mommy, and he looked at her then at me then at her, and then came to me. It turned out they'd been having him call her ma ma too. He was confused. As the months went on, I realized that he would be forming permanent memories soon. I didn't want the instability for him that my whole life had been. I knew they were only waiting for an excuse to terminate me forcefully as it was. I finally went to my lawyer/guardian ad litem and told her I wanted an adoption, he needed to be out of the system. Voluntary would be easier to find him later. Forced termination of rights would be harder to find him. I signed my rights away on August 3rd, 1993. Termination hearing took place about a month later, but the exact date of the termination hearing escapes my memory now. I was 17 and still in the system myself. I hope he got a fresh start, free of drama. His adoption finalized around June 1994, in Crawford County Court, which is located in Denison, Iowa.

Reunion Goal

I know that he has a mother that loves and raised him, and I cannot replace her, but I still love him the same as the day he was born. I have cried a lot for the last 23+ years, and just to know him again in some way again would be a gift. He has siblings, and was NEVER a secret. He has Aunts and Uncles and Grandmas and a brother and a sister and cousins who want to know him. I miss everything about him, but know boundaries. Please come be in my life again, even if you aren't able to see me as mom. As a foster child myself who aged out of the system, I do have a unique perspective and I want you know I am here and will search forever for you.

Contact Me!

If you find this website helpful, please consider making a donation.